Unpacking Trauma to Live the Soft Life
The Soft Life Is Calling, But My Trauma Said, “Hold My Drink.”
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t dream of waking up in luxury sheets, sipping matcha in a silk robe, and gliding through life with ease? But real talk, how am I supposed to live the “soft life” when my nervous system is stuck in overdrive and I jump every time my phone rings? It turns out that before we cozy up in comfort, we have some unpacking to do.
Social media makes it look easy. Romanticize your life. Buy this serum. Manifest abundance. Suddenly, the soft life is reduced to an aesthetic with a shopping cart full of self-care products. But here’s the kicker: buying into the soft life is easy. Living it requires peace, boundaries, and healing.
The Barriers to a Soft Life
Unhealed Wounds: When chaos is your default, stillness feels unsafe. Who wants to sit quietly when your thoughts are screaming at you?
Burnout: If you don’t know how to stop grinding, softness will always slip through your fingers.
People-Pleasing: If “no” isn’t in your vocabulary, the soft life stays out of reach.
Emotional Baggage: Old wounds and beliefs keep you in survival mode, no matter how many spa days you book.
Healing First, Softness Later
You want softness? Start with healing.
Self-Awareness: You can’t heal what you won’t name.
Therapy or Inner Work: Journaling, reflection, or therapy—pick one and begin.
Boundaries: Guard your peace like it’s your favorite luxury item.
Receiving Without Guilt: Rest and joy aren’t rewards. You deserve them, period.
Maybe the soft life feels too big right now. So start smaller. Try a “soft hour.” Take a nap without guilt. Light a candle and let yourself breathe. Those small moments add up.
Because here’s the truth: the soft life isn’t silk pajamas and bubble baths. It’s being at ease in your body. It’s choosing rest without shame. It’s not performative softness, but real peace.
And me? My trauma finally handed my drink back, and I have to admit, it tastes better than I imagined.
